title Traditional Values
trope
Accidental Marriagerating k
word count
250+June’s job has taken her all over the world. People usually tended to hide in the same place, some more than others. However, it was just typical that this fool Piandao wanted to find was the only man in her entire career who decided to hide in the Foggy Swamp, definitely foreign territory.
The Foggy Swamp inhabitants were a peculiar but hospitable people. Their ways always seemed to make sense, but not immediately to outsiders. Only because they’d been wandering through the swamp for hours – Piandao was seeing dead people – and they didn’t want to see if the rumors about them were true – the ones that end “…and they were never seen again.” – June and Piandao accepted their dinner invitation.
While June contemplated eating a very large grub, she noticed one Swampbender – Bozo or Due – eying her.
“What?”
“Pardon my starin’, miss, but you sure is a fine-lookin’ woman.”
“…yeah.”
“You taken?”
A beat.
“Yes, I am. By him.”
June moved practically onto Piandao’s lap.
“Sure she is,” he agreed easily.
“How long y’all been hitched?”
“We’re not.”
Everyone froze, silent and staring.
So…wrong answer.
“I mean…yet.”
“Well, shoot, you can’t put somethin’ like that off. Clocks are a-tickin’!”
Due-Bozo hollered for Huu to ‘get out the good stuff’ for a ‘right fine com-mencil-i-zation’. Their hosts watched intently as the duo shared a cup of the good-kick-in-the-teeth-tickle-the-mind stuff and responded at Huu’s prompting while he talked about everything being connected, men and women, bonds, and…something. Then Bozo’s friend started crying when it was over.
“Don’t mind Tho,” Huu smiled. “He always cries at weddings.”
Afterwards, the incident was labeled under Things-That-Never-Happened, and so it was.