I Gress

Dec. 22nd, 2011 06:21 pm
c3childs: (Ozai w/ tea)
If 'digress' means to turn aside or away from a subject, then 'gress' would mean to remain on subject. You know, if it was a word. I guess it's pretty obvious what I need for Christmas; thesaurus, dictionary, anyone?

May 18
I think I am wise therefore I am a fool. In wisdom of man, I know little; in wisdom of God, I know less than I ought. I have pride without cause. I see and envy comes for things of which I have no need. This is merely one of the flaws of me. If I let go of the air, and open my hand, then You can fill them with goodness.
...
Hear me, O Lord. I am surrounded. My enemy has me captive. Or could it be the one who is holding me down is yours truly? Surely my God will deliver. Verily, verily, Lord, come swiftly. Whisper the words that will break these chains.


I Samuel 1: 18 
And she said, let thine handmaid find grace in they sight. So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad.

I have no idea when I wrote this:
The Lord God of all
Before You, humbled and
Speechless in awe of grace
I fall and
Give praise to You
Raise up Your name
Glory, glory, alleluia
...
Don't imagine that you have the mind of God figured out; you don't even know your own mind from one day to the next.
...
If one believes there is no God because He cannot be seen, then one should stop breathing the air, that is also unseen. Then one may see the once unseen God in His terrible glory and judgment before one is thrown into the once unseen Hell.
...
I don't see them the way You do. I know that You love me but the depth is unknown, and You love them too. But they don't know, or like I, don't care. So why shouldn't I tell them that I've been there before? Why not tell how You came down to human life? Why don't I say how You gave your life and died? Why not speak of how You were judged and punished for the sin of men? That it was for our sake and how You rose again? Why don't I tell that you offer new life? That though the body will rot, the spirit shall never die? So why don't I?

July 24
   Stars   
Count the stars and in them you'll see the promises of God's covenant to Abraham and from that came me.

Idiot

Sep. 15th, 2011 02:53 pm
c3childs: (what...)
I swear, I am the stupidest moron on the face of the planet right now. I would slap me if I believed in self-punishment or thought it would help, but my gosh...I am dumb.

...'I don't want to talk about it'...That's what I frikkin' said, the actual words that caused this little pity party. Imbecile.

The depths of my own stupidity stagger me at times...

If I hadn't realized just how badly I shoved my foot in my mouth, this wouldn't - well, no, of course I wouldn't. Ignorance of the fact and all that.

...Lord, help me, this your idiot child. Because seriously, I don't even know what's wrong with me. You know. You made me, and before You did, You must have looked at the moment and just rolled Your eyes. But seeing that, You still decided to go ahead with the plan to see me born, moronic though I may be. And seeing as You are the One Who made all things glorious, made me, and re-made me, I must be glorious as well. Although I obviously am not anywhere near the level You would have me to be yet because...'I don't want to talk about it.'

To pull an Adam and Even type flavor, he really should have made it clear what exaxtly 'it' was. I shouldn't have listened though, and tried to understand rather than giving him the brush off. But...I couldn't help it. Gold teeth creep me out. I mean, they really do. When have gold teeth ever represented something good? Gangsters have gold teeth. Pirates have gold teeth, if they even have teeth. Rappers, and I don't like them either.

And his name is Jimmie. I have yet to meet anyone - Jimmy Needham doesn't count; he's just a singer whose music I enjoy - by that name who was anything but trouble. That's completely not fair though. It's really not.

But see, that's me putting the blame off on something/one else when I'm at fault too, and to a greater extent because those things don't control me. I control me, and how stuff affects me. So it's on my head.

And I am so surprised I don't know more words for stupid.

Oh! Stupido! Yeah, there's one. Gettin' bilingual with it now. But whatever. An idiot by any other name...

"I don't want to talk about it"?!?!?!

February 2022

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